The Intimacy Snare, Stabilizing Hormones and the Cranium

As I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader composed in with a dating predicament and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to obtain love, and males use love to obtain sex." This is a fantastic summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where singles interpret great sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even farther because for these songs, having sex brings tremendous meaning and repercussions.

Singles fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two ways:

A.they think sex is a needed test of compatibility, (if the sex is excellent then the relationship will ready also).

B.more typically, all awareness goes out the window, and one or both previously level-headed singles consider themselves a committed couple as quickly as they make love.
So, rather than looking at whether this other individual may be a match on levels aside from physical attraction-- such as long-term requirements, requirements, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to keep in touch with reality when all those hormones are running wild. Our body reacts to someone we are attracted to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone (increases sexual desire), that makes the chance to have sex with someone we are attracted to extremely difficult to resist. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce emotions), which makes us feel really close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chemical responses are uncontrolled and strong , causing powerful feelings of tourist attraction, enjoyment, well-being, closeness, and love .

When problems develop, those who fall into the Sex Trap typically rationalize by believing, "Well, we've got issues, but the sex is terrific!" They more than likely would not confess it, but they focus on physical intimacy and regard the rest as optional. Their main hunting tools are sexual destination and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mainly with gay males, states that a lot of his customers have actually fallen under the Sex Trap.

" For gay males especially in cosmopolitan areas, sex is easily offered, and that in itself is a trap," North states. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to be good?".

Nevertheless, North includes, "I suspect this is a ' person' thing instead of a 'gay' thing.".
I do desire to point out that chemistry is crucial. Chemistry is a provided that we can't manage in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it needs to be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry occur, though sometimes it can grow with time.

Songs who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry risk relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication wears away and truth hits.

To prevent the Sex Trap, you need to stabilize your heart (and hormones) with important source your head. This read the article indicates integrating chemistry with common sense. While great sex is very important for a sustainable relationship, you require to make your partner options by paying complete attention to your vision, objectives, requirements, and values -- while feeling all those exciting stimulates!

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